An Immigrant's Answer

   So I've been skimming, scanning, and reading articles from The Globe and Mail's "The Immigrant Answer" special feature and here's what I thought: I am happy and disappointed at the same time.

   Happy that the Chinese and East Indians have decided to go back to their home countries since their respective countries are booming. But where does that leave the Filipinos? I don't think today's situation in the Philippines would make me want to move back there, and I am sure that some Filipinos I know think this way too. Granted, I rarely read news about the Philippines that I barely know the state of the economy and politics, but I can see that in its current state there is no way that would make me want to live there--even if my relatives and friends live there. 

   That was my initial reaction after reading a few articles on The Globe and Mail "Our Time to Lead" special feature. If someone thinks I'm too pessimistic and that I should give the Philippines a chance, I would rather see the change happening now than delaying it. So I'll wait. I can wait. I want to see the Philippines change. But at the state it is now, I doubt that's going to happen anytime soon. Should I cross my fingers then?

I try to be philosophical sometimes

   I may not know what I want to do in life after graduation, but I know exactly what I don't want to be as a person. 

   It's interesting to listen to people and observe them. How this person always wants to be the centre of attention. How this person wants be the gossipmonger of the group, making sure that she knows the scoop first before everyone else does. How this person likes teasing others, making fun of his or her flaws for her own benefit, so that people will think that she's funny. How this person cannot buy her own lunch unless someone goes with her. How this person persuades someone to buy a frappuccino even though he or she does not want to. How this person suddenly springs up a new topic about herself while the persons around her are conversing to divert their attention and listen to her. How this person always, always talks about herself even though the receiver of the conversation is not interested in hearing that information. 

   How this person is proud to have never asked anything from her sisters to put her children into college. How she doesn't want to share her money to a relative with reduced circumstances. How she does not feel for her relatives who live in a worse situation than hers. How she does not feel fortunate that she has been given a chance to live comfortably than others.

   Their words and actions are shaped by their own worlds and experiences so even if I disagree with them most of the time, I will not succumb to their own beliefs because I know I have mine. So seeing them from my point of view and experiences, I am glad because I know what I don't want to be (and try never to be) like them. 

Far better things

    On the upside, this gives me hope that I have a chance to follow my dreams. That my dreams will come true if I believe and persevere. That there are plenty of opportunities ahead of me. That I can be the person that I want to be or that I've always wanted to be. And that makes me glad and excited and scared all at the same time.

   The downside is that it tells me that what I had before were nothing compared to what I will have in the future. That the people who were a huge part of my life whom I've left behind are now memories--because I will meet new people better than the old friends I knew and grew up with. That what I learned before were nothing to what I will learn in the future (and in the present. Because I am loving my university courses and my life now. Even though it's tough. Ehem. Moving on.). That the chances I was given before were mere opportunities because I will be given a better chance in time. The last two ideas I can bear. But with regards to people, I don't think I'm able to compare the people I met before to the people I met today and assert that the people I know today are much better than the people I knew before. Because that's not true.

   However, it may not be true today, but it can change in the future.

   But hey, my history is what makes me the individual I am today. And history is the past, present, and the future. So whoever I meet will be a part of my history that will make up my individual self. And when the time comes that someone asks me to compare all the people I know, then I can answer that question. But for now, I'll stand on my belief: That the people I know in my past are far better than the people I know today.